


The Beauty of Publicity

by straight_as_a_curly_fry



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Everybody's fucking beautiful, kink meme prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-12
Updated: 2013-06-12
Packaged: 2017-12-14 17:45:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/839630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straight_as_a_curly_fry/pseuds/straight_as_a_curly_fry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote this based off a prompt at three in the morning. I'll post the link to that later. Basically the prompt was that a reporter asks Tony what his 'type' is, and Tony basically goes on to say that he doesn't have a type, and everybody is beautiful. The prompt itself is based off a tumblr post which i will link to once i get out of the cesspool that is school and no longer have a block on the internet</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Beauty of Publicity

Publicity 

The worst part about being an Avenger, Clint decided, was the publicity. He was used to being unknown-as most spies are-and he was perfectly happy loitering in shadows and travelling through air vents to avoid people. Now that he was an Avenger though, he couldn't exactly hide away from the general population; they expected him to be an 'active member of the community', so that he could 'be a good role model for kids', and part of this apparently was press conferences. 

The first time they did a press conference together, it didn't exactly go well. Bruce almost hulked out, Natasha nearly brained a reporter, and Thor accidentally hit a squirrel with Mjolnir. Meanwhile Tony smirked at the cameras, Steve tried to figure out the microphone they'd given him, and he himself had ended up retreating into one of the trees in the park they were broadcasting from. After that Fury had decided that they were all to 'stick to their motherfucking cue cards and let Stark do the talking'. 

There were a lot of protests at first-because seriously? Stark couldn't go five seconds without insulting somebody-but eventually it was decided that it was easier to deal with disgruntled reporters than traditional Asgardian funerals for the rodent population and mildly green scientists. Every once in a while though, they got a question that Clint just knew Tony was going to screw up-like when the reporter who'd asked what the Avengers planned on doing for father's day had nearly gotten a repulser to the face-, and this was one of those times. If it was anybody else Clint might not be worried, but seriously, Tony was a rude playboy with a very colourful sex life, and this was not going to go well.

"For all of our female viewers out there, what type of women do you prefer?" The reporter asked.

"You know," Tony said with a scowl, "I really hate that question, and you'd' be surprised how after I get asked it; or maybe not considering all you blood-sucking 'reporters' are pretty much the same. The point is, I don't have a 'type'."

The reporter snorted, "Oh c'mon, everybody's got a type."

"You know," Tony said angrily, "even if I did have a 'type', I wouldn't answer that question, and you know why? Because thousands, maybe even millions of girls and boys are going to see this interview, and every single one of them is absolutely stunning. I refuse to tell them they're not good enough for me by not describing them in some stupid interview! I honestly don't care what my partners look like; their hair colour doesn't matter, nor do their eyes, or their weight, or their height, or any other simple physical attribution you could think of. None of that matters. What matters is that they act, and dress, and look however they want to. That's their choice not mine." By this point Tony was standing up, and glaring at the reporter, "I think this interview is over now." he said, walking from the room.

Clint stared at his teammate in shock, and looked back towards the gobsmacked reporter, "Uh yeah." he said in a rather stunning performance of wit, "Ditto."

END


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